guardians_song (guardians_song) wrote,

Carmilla's Advice Column:

Dear Countess Mircalla,

I'm an otherwise unremarkable teenage girl, but recently, I've been having strange feelings towards a close friend. My heart beats faster around her, I feel a strange, tumultuous excitement when she touches me, and she is always in my thoughts, try as I might to do otherwise... and, for her part, she keeps casting these disturbing, alluring glances towards me, caressing my hand, and breathing hotly in my ear...

Clearly she's a vampire and it's all her damnable powers at work. How would you recommend repulsing her? Should I slather myself with garlic?

-Confused and Entranced

Dear Confused and Entranced,

While slathering yourself with garlic will no doubt have that effect (as it would upon most anyone), I think you would do better to visit the following URL:

-Countess Mircalla

This entry is mirrored at Comment wherever you like. Just remind me to get off the internet and do my homework.
Tags: humor, parody
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